Creative writing EPHIHANY!

Last weekend, on a night where my brain had trouble sleeping, I selected a book to read that I haven't read in a long time. Natalie Goldbergs Writing Down The Bones. I have currently been overally ambivalent about being a famous writer. Yet I have apprehensions and nervous feelings about writing down my work in journals. I have been fudgety and fissy and prissy. I need this I need that! When all I really needed was to take a step back and breath a really long breath. I had an epiphany when I read the first three chapters of the book. I realized that my writing should come from my heart not from my deterministic ambitions. I should write about what moves me what causes me to sing in the morning, gasp for air, smile merrily, welcome the sunshine in the morning, all that jazz! I was fidgetdy before about getting the 'right' materials the 'right' equipment. Hell, such a thing never exisited. I was merely apprehended by nervous and dscrinimating thoughts plauging my head. And I also realized that even if I wasn't famous that I would be happy with who I was and happy as a writer because I love writing. It doesn't matter if I'm famous. I don't have to be famous. I can just be me. :D This makes me happy. If I hadn't opened the pages of Writing Down The Bones I would've been still stuck in that stupid realm of stupidy which is fidgety fussbudgeting. Sigh. I am happy again. :D

So I want to go to CVS to get a spiral notebook and a pen. (NOT A BALL POINT BEN! Why? There is no control. In Writing Down The Bones Natalie gives some suggestions on some pens to use. No pencils either. I can't write my ideas down quick enough. There needs to be a balance of control and free flow for ideas. Besides, good handwriting doesn't matter in personal notebooks.)